If you are daring to dream about being an irresistible midlife woman and you are wanting some changes in your love life, your business life or social life, this is for you.

An irresistible midlife woman is really comfortable in her own skin, and it shows.

Some midlife women start to feel invisible and compare themselves to other women as they get older. We set ourselves up for such heartache when we do that and a lot of that has to do with how we feel about ourselves and our personal history over the previous 50 years.

In a nutshell, the best advice is just to be yourself, with no airs and graces, and just really loving yourself as you are. Just be your best self and not copy someone else. Here are some insights into how you too can be an irresistible midlife woman and attract wonderful people and opportunities into your life.

Give up your bubble, and stop trying to be like someone else.

“Why can’t I look like that?”   It’s not real life. It’s a mindset.

Women are beautiful no matter their weight, height, age, shape, size, colouring or ethnicity. With so many variations in appearance, there is but one common denominator: it’s feeling confident and beautiful in her own skin.

Men don’t see us in the same way that we do when we are picking ourselves apart. We are so self-conscious and men don’t really care what our features are if we are confident and happy and fun to be with.

This can come about especially if your ex-partner has been picky, insulting, criticising you, keeping you under his thumb and destroying your self-esteem. This will never build up your confidence. Relax a little bit, stop obsessing about every little thing and put your best foot forward.

It’s not a healthy way to live your life and it takes its toll on your self-image. If you’re feeling it’s relentless and nothing is going to change, seek some help or take the next exit.

It’s so important to reflect on the outside, and remember how incredibly visual men are. They just are hard-wired for it, but we don’t need to be intimidated by it, but just know it is what it is. As women, we need to be more aware of how we present ourselves authentically, as it tells the world we value ourselves, and men of value respond very favourably to that. Just be sure you are putting your best self forward.

Confidence is super sexy and when you know what works for you, you don’t need to say a word. You don’t need a massive makeover, but learn to do a few little things to make a difference where a difference matters. Learn how to apply makeup to enhance your features or review your hair style and maybe introduce a highlight or low-light hair colour that you can do yourself so you don’t feel that the only time you look good is when you walk out of the salon.

Re-ignite your life. Book in for a hair and makeup glam-over and just see how differently you are treated.

There are a lot of landmines in the fashion world for women, especially midlife women. OMG!

It’s a difficult world to navigate, and you need to give it some time and some attention. You may need the help of a professional, especially if your understanding of how your body is changing and how it’s affecting your wardrobe choices is baffling you.

When dating, just dress to your style personality and be authentic, whether it’s feminine, romantic, sporty, dramatic, classic or whatever your essence is. Jeans and T-shirts have their place and usefulness, but not when you are dating. Lots of yoga pants never see yoga.

Seek help to figure out your body type and how to understand how to use colour, line and interior design for your shape and proportions, what to accentuate or camouflage, and stick to those styles and designs which flatter you.

You could be a combination of a couple of body shapes, prominent features, a larger hip than the thigh, narrow shoulders, but a tummy too that you have to add into it. Now, in our stage of life, we have a 3-dimensional body shape: what do you look like all the way around? Most clothes are in 2-dimensional styles and don’t always cater for a change in shape midlife women often encounter.

You have to dress and work with all those factors, how to enhance or camouflage.

Quit the dreary colours.

As we get older, colour is essential. It makes such a huge difference if you pay more attention to wearing better colours which are more flattering to you.  Do you want to disappear, not want to draw attention to yourself? Look at it in natural light, not fluorescent.  If you live in black or grey it can be very ageing especially around your face as black will accentuate your lines. If you like to wear grey, it can be a stunning colour provided you have medium to high contrast in between your eye, skin and hair colour.

There are so many shades and temperatures of each colour, eg how do you know you have the correct red for your complexion and contrast levels? Any colour could be warmer than cool (temperature), muted/soft or bright (intensity), dark, medium or light (level), and those factors can overwhelm or diminish the effect you are after.

Dare to be Stylish.

Style impacts how you show up in the world and will build self-esteem and increase your confidence.

4 top things you might take on.

1. Go through your wardrobe and get rid of anything that doesn’t make you feel fabulous, is outdated, faded, or not in good repair, “Oh yes, I meant to throw it out but kept it.”
2. Look at the predominant colours, what are they? Black and grey. Definitely figure out the best colours for yourself. Make it doable in baby steps if it’s overwhelming for you. Most women don’t have the shopping gene. If you are afraid of colour, work out why it scares you. Just take a baby step, introduce a colourful accessory, and add in things one at a time and change them around. If you are going to wear black, get some jewellery to bring life to your face.
3. Learn about your personality style. Where do you spend your time, and the majority of what you do? Are you wearing Corporate clothes any more, or are you a stay-at-home entrepreneur? Start building a small wardrobe for romantic possibilities and create or purchase a few essential pieces.
4. If you’re dating, you will get more wear changing out your tops, with new scarves and learning how to mix and match the upper half under your face. As pants or slack or jeans are more a basic garment you can mix and match them with tops with different necklines, colours, and sleeves. Look for one or two pieces that you can add to your wardrobe, even if you only purchase a few pairs of earrings or a new handbag.

If you would like to go deeper and discover how to be confident, irresistible and maybe even attract your extraordinary man into your life, please send me a cheerio in the form below. I’m here to help.